Sixth period Computer Science shouldâve been my sanctuary. Itâs the one class where I actually know what Iâm doing, where Mr. Peterson treats me like a human being instead of a walking disaster, and where the only drama is usually Tommy arguing with me about Python versus JavaScript frameworks.
But today, even my safe space got contaminated by my lunch period performance.
I slide into my usual seat next to Tommy, trying to ignore the fact that half the class is still snickering and showing each other videos on their phones. Oh great, my fifteen minutes of fame continues.
The fluorescent lights buzz overhead, casting that sickly greenish tint that makes everyone look like theyâre dying of radiation poisoningâwhich honestly would be an improvement for most of these people.
The computer lab itself smells like disinfectant and the ghost of a thousand energy drinks, because nothing says "learning environment" like the aroma of broken dreams and Mountain Dew.
"Dude, youâve got marinara sauce in your hair," Tommy whispers, not looking up from his dual monitors where heâs got about fifteen browser tabs open and three different code editors running simultaneously. Because of course he doesâ
Tommyâs the kind of guy who thinks productivity means having more windows open than a Best Buy display.
"Yeah, well, youâve got Cheeto dust permanently embedded under your fingernails, so weâre even," I mutter back, trying to discreetly pick the dried sauce out of my hoodie strings. "At least my stains are from todayâs humiliation. Yours are geological formations at this point."
Thatâs when I notice them. Sofia Delgado and Lea Martinez, sitting two rows ahead of us, and theyâre both looking back in our direction. Not just glancingâactually turning around to stare.
Fantastic. Just what my day needed.
Sofiaâs got this perfect cascade of dark hair that always smells like vanilla and coconut, probably from whatever expensive conditioner girls use that costs more than my entire wardrobe.
Sheâs wearing Jackâs letterman jacket â way too big for her, drowning that impossibly small frame in navy and gold. The sleeves hang past her fingers, making her look fragile, like she wandered into someone elseâs skin... but God, she wears it better than he ever could. One shoulderâs bare, like the jacket couldnât cling to her tight enough, couldnât keep her contained â and honestly, neither could Jack.
The collarbone peeking out isnât an accident. Neither is the way her shorts barely exist beneath the hem, just enough leg to drive the imagination crazy.
"Mine, especially." I tell myself, she doesnât know what sheâs doing. But deep down, I know she does. She crossed one leg over the other and leaned back in the lab chair like itâs a throne, headphones in, fingers absentmindedly twisting a strand of hair â like sheâs not aware sheâs making my blood slow and rush at the same time.
Sheâs art in a hoodie. Lust in someone elseâs name. A walking contradiction of soft lips and sharp eyes. I stare too long, then look away like itâll erase what Iâm thinking. But it doesnât. It never does.
Because in my head, sheâs mine â not Jackâs. In my head, she leans across the keyboard and whispers my name, not his.
But out here? She doesnât even care I exist.
And Lea... fuck, Leaâs something else entirely. Sheâs got this whole mysterious intellectual vibe goingâwire-rimmed glasses, hair always in this messy bun that looks effortless but probably takes her twenty minutes to perfect, and sheâs constantly surrounded by a fortress of textbooks like sheâs building a wall between herself and the rest of humanity.
Today sheâs wearing an oversized sweater that makes her look soft and approachable, which is dangerous because it makes me forget that sheâs literally too smart to waste time on someone like me. Or anyone, really.
Pretty sure sheâs planning to marry calculus and honeymoon with quantum physics.
Theyâre whispering to each other, occasionally glancing back at us, and I can feel my face getting hot. Because apparently my body thinks embarrassment is a competitive sport and Iâm going for the gold.
"Tommy," I hiss, "stop and donât dare do any weird shit... Theyâre looking at us."
Tommy finally glances up from his screen, following my gaze to where the two girls are having what looks like an intense conversation. "Bro, theyâre obviously laughing about what happened at lunch. Probably feeling sorry for you or something."
"Thanks for the pep talk, asshole. Really appreciate the motivational speaking."
"Iâm just being realistic," he shrugs, going back to his code. "Look, I get why youâre obsessed with Sofia and others, you should stop, it will only get you in trouble...â
"But honestly? I donât understand why someone like her would be with a guy like Jack in the first place." Guyâs an asshole.
Tommy snorted. "Are you serious? Who wouldnât love Jack Morrison? The guyâs literally perfect. Heâs tall, built, smart enough to maintain a 3.8 GPA, star quarterback, comes from money, drives a fucking Tesla, and his biggest problem is probably choosing which college scholarship to accept. Heâs basically what happens when the universe decides to show off."
Tommy paused as if to considers this for a moment, then nods thoughtfully. "You know what? If I were a girl, Iâd probably go for him too. Objectively speaking, the dudeâs got everything."
"Tough luck though," I continue, getting into it now. "Even if you were a girl, youâd still have that tragic hair situation and your face, plus youâd just be a round body with tits and nipples. So really, your dating prospects wouldnât improve much. Youâd just be disappointing a different demographic."
Tommy flips me off without looking away from his screen.
But somethingâs been bugging me, and my mouth starts moving before my brain can stop it. Because apparently todayâs theme is "How Many Ways Can Peter Destroy His Own Life?"
"Can I ask you something theoretical?"
"Shoot."
"Does Jack maybe have a small dick?"
Tommyâs fingers froze over his keyboard. "What?"
"Think about it," I said, warming to my theme like this is some kind of Nobel Prize-worthy hypothesis. "Weâre supposed to be opposites, right? Look at my life, then look at his. Itâs like the universe made us to be on completely different sides of everything. Good versus bad, popular versus outcast, success versus failure. Itâs basic physics."
"Okay, Iâm following your logic so far..."