The rooftop stopped being an engagement party the second our circle formedâit was less toasting the happy couple and more season premiere of The Bachelor: Narcissist Edition.
What began as polite hellos morphed into the kind of gathering that happens when women who havenât been touched since the Obama administration suddenly realize salvation has arrived in the form of me, poured into a Tom Ford tux.
Forget literature, politics, or anything resembling adult conversationâwe were playing the worldâs oldest game: seduction, masquerading as networking.
I was the sun, and they were orbiting planets, each spinning with their own flavor of desperate gravity. Madison to my right, heiress cosplay dialed up to HBO drama levels. Charlotte, clinically fascinated like she was writing her dissertation on Male Ego in the Wild.
Amanda, glowing so hard from the attention that I briefly wondered if pregnancy tests now came in LED. And Margaretâah, Margaretâconducting the whole thing like she was unveiling her art exhibit, except her prize piece was me, framed in tuxedo and arrogance.
Then the reinforcements came. Vivienne, emerald-eyed and divorce-fueled like a cougar reboot of
Sex and the City.
Anastasia, oozing heiress energy so thick it smelled like generational wealth. Gabrielle, straight out of a Renaissance painting, though probably the one where everyoneâs sinning in the background. Plus, two newcomers... Celeste, the art gallery owner, cataloging me like a priceless piece that needed further inspection under better lighting.
And Ashbyâdear God, Isabelleâwhose French accent could make a tax audit sound like foreplay.
And thenâmy favorite partâthe men tried to join.
"Ladies," Harold swaggered over like a mall cop guarding his Cinnabon, "perhaps we shouldâ"
Amanda didnât even bother to look at him. "Harold, darling, weâre discussing European art acquisitions. Youâd be dreadfully bored."
Back off, Dollar Store fiancĂ©. Daddyâs busy.
Harold blinked, shuffled, and retreated like a golden retriever who just had his chew toy stolen.
This wasnât a conversation anymore; this was a fortress. Husbands, boyfriends, exesâthey all bounced off the invisible forcefield these women had built around me. Their body language screamed: Heâs ours. Touch the tux and die.
Vivienne dealt the final blow. "Robert," she purred at her ex-husband hovering nearby, "why donât you go network with the other men? Weâre discussing... feminine perspectives on business."
Robert, bless him, actually tried: "But Viv, I thought we couldâ"
"Robert." Her smile had the same energy as a guillotine blade mid-swing. "Weâre busy."
He wilted like a canceled Netflix showâhere one minute, gone the nextâwhile I stood there basking, the star of my own rooftop reality TV disaster special.
Anastasiaâs husbandâViktor, the kind of man who thought a Rolex was a substitute for personalityâfinally decided to stake his claim. He slid into our circle like a shareholder barging into a board meeting.
"Anastasia, we should discuss the Whitman merger with Haroldâ"
She didnât even glance at him. "Viktor," she said, her eyes locked on me like I was the only man alive, "Iâm sure Harold would love to hear about profit margins. Weâre discussing much more... stimulating topics."
The word lingered between us, heavy with suggestion. Viktor caught it, turned red, and looked like heâd just been benched on his own team. Territorial rage simmered under his skin, but it didnât matterâthe crowd had chosen its king.
One by one, the men fell away. Dismissed. Discouraged. Defeated. They looked around, suddenly irrelevant in their own relationships, while the women leaned closer, remembering they had choices beyond stability and bank accounts.
"So, Eros," Margaret purred, reclaiming her seat like a hostess introducing the headline act, "Charlotteâs been terribly discreet about your business ventures. What exactly do you... specialize in?"
I leaned back, letting silence and confidence work harder than any resume. My presence filled the space the way expensive cologne fills an elevatorâinescapable, intoxicating, and a little dangerous.
"I solve problems others consider impossible," I said. "Clients usually come to me after exhausting every conventional option. Thatâs when theyâre ready for... unconventional solutions."
Anastasia laughed, a sharp, knowing sound. Her world revolved around patents and pillsâshe understood the power of ambiguity better than most. "Delightfully vague. And profitable, I imagine?"
"Extremely," I replied, my tone just shy of arrogant. Enough to remind them I belonged in this rarefied air, but not enough to cheapen it with bragging. "Though the most rewarding work isnât financial. Itâs helping people discover what they truly need, not just what they think they want."
The words hung there, humid and heavy, impossible to ignore. Double-edged, unmistakable, and aimed straight at the softest parts of their pride.
Celeste tilted forward, amber eyes appraising me like a curator evaluating a piece too valuable to sell. "And what," she asked, "would you say is the most common problem among your clientele?"
I let her hold the silence before answering. "Unfulfilled potential. People whoâve settled for less than they deserve... because no one ever showed them better options existed."
I didnât have to add the obvious: better options were sitting right here, in a tuxedo, with a smile sharp enough to cut silk.
The silence that followed was thick enough to bottle and sell as perfume. Recognition, confession, hungerâit was all there, written across their faces. Each woman looked at me the way someone does when theyâve just been diagnosed by a stranger and realized the stranger is right.
"Remarkably insightful," Ashby murmured, her accent turning confession into seduction.
God bless the Frenchâonly they could make self-awareness sound like foreplay. "
And sadly, accurate for many women in our social sphere."
"Ashbyâs right," Amanda added, her voice gathering momentum like a plane breaking through turbulence. "Weâre conditioned to be grateful for financial security, but what about other forms of satisfaction?"
Margaret tried to intervene, matriarchal instincts kicking in. "Amandaâ"
"No, Margaret." Amanda cut her off with a flick of her diamond ring, the gesture as dismissive as it was blinding. She waved toward Harold, sulking with the other neutered husbands. "For once, I want to talk about what we
actually
want. Not what weâve been programmed to accept."
That was the crack in the dam. The air pulsed with unspoken truths, with decades of suppressed hunger. These women were circling the admission that their marriages were business transactions, that their needs had been shelved like outdated dĂ©cor, that they were starvingâand I was the five-course meal theyâd been pretending not to notice.
Vivienne, naturally, was the first to let propriety die. She smiled, slow and wicked. "Well, if weâre being honest... Eros represents exactly the kind of opportunity most of us assumed only existed in fantasy novels."
"Vivienne!" Celeste gasped, but her laugh betrayed her.
"What? Look at him." Vivienne gestured at me with the finality of someone dropping the mic. "When was the last time any of you met a man who looked like that, spoke like that, and actually gave a damn about your mind?"
"Never," Anastasia said, her voice clipped and deadly serious. "Absolutely never."
Gabrielleâs bitterness followed like a knife. "My husband hasnât asked about my thoughtsâor my feelingsâin at least five years."
And just like that, the circle expanded. Sophia, the museum curator with dark hair and sharper eyes, abandoned her husband mid-sentence.
"Excuse me," she told him, cool as glass, "but theyâre discussing something far more compelling than quarterly projections."
Her husbandâs jaw flapped, but Sophia dismissed him with a waveâlike a queen excusing a servant. She slid into our circle with relief and an edge of defiance. "My husband thinks intellectual stimulation means reviewing stock portfolios."
It became a pattern. Women arrived like pilgrims, drawn by the promise of something dangerous, real. One by one, they joined, dismissed their men, and leaned into the gravity well Iâd created. My private constellation kept expanding, stars breaking orbit to settle around me.
I decided to reward them. "Ladies," I said, my voice pitched to carry the warmth of sincerity and the arrogance of inevitability, "I have to say... this is the most enlightening conversation Iâve had in months. Youâre all remarkably inspiring."
"Inspiring how?" Margaret asked, and I knew she wanted me to aim the arrow straight at her heart.
"You remind me that intelligence and beauty arenât mutually exclusive," I said smoothly. "Too often, successful women are told they must choose between achievement and satisfaction. Youâve just proven that assumption is complete bullshit."
The profanity cracked the veneer like champagne against a shipâs hull. Laughter burst out, real and unguarded.
"Finally," Celeste sighed, "a man who understands weâre not decorative objects."
"Though," Ashby added, her smile pure mischief, "we donât mind being appreciated as such by the right person."
And that was itâthe moment the air shifted from heated debate to sexual voltage. The tension thickened, clung, pressed down like humidity before a storm. Every woman was leaning in, every gaze sharpened.
You could cut it with a stilettoâthough personally, I preferred sharper tools.