Table of Contents
149 chaptersChapter 1 | The Price of a Pathetic FantasyChapter 2 | Infinite Cashback: ActiveChapter 3 | You Have 24 Hours to Stop Being YouChapter 4 | There Is No TomorrowChapter 5 | My First Boss Fight is a Pizza BoxChapter 6 | You Are What You Don’t Throw AwayChapter 7 | Apparently, Cleaning Counts as CardioChapter 8 | A Social Interaction Buffed by FabulosoChapter 9 | The Intimidation Fee is Apparently ComplimentaryChapter 10 | My Name Isn’t RickyChapter 11 | My Bank Account Just Leveled UpChapter 12 | Registering Her is a Financial and Emotional RiskChapter 13 | SLOT ONE: REGISTEREDChapter 14 | A Three-Thousand-Dollar Beta TestChapter 15 | We Both Drive a Honda Civic, So It Must Be FateChapter 16 | The Girl in the Rearview MirrorChapter 17 | The Thud From Unit 404Chapter 18 | My Life Is A SitcomChapter 19 | Welcome to Unit 403Chapter 20 | Ground Rules for the Girl Next DoorChapter 21 | Do Not Get Attached to the TransactionChapter 22 | My Life Is A Gacha Game NowChapter 23 | The Biohazard UpgradeChapter 24 | Maintenance RequiredChapter 25 | Proximity AlertChapter 26 | Amazon Princesses and Other GoalsChapter 27 | Resisting the RNGChapter 28 | Oh. It’s You.Chapter 29 | The Prada Bag GuyChapter 30 | A Full Deck of PainChapter 31 | Not a Date, or SomethingChapter 32 | An Invitation to Watch Netflix (And Panic)Chapter 33 | A First Date in Aisle FiveChapter 34 | Maximum AtmosphereChapter 35 | Three Feet Feels Like Three InchesChapter 36 | Counter-Programming the FearChapter 37 | The Statistical Probability of You and MeChapter 38 | I’m ScaredChapter 39 | The Calypso Origin StoryChapter 40 | I Lied, I Wanted You HereChapter 41 | This is Some Kind of Black Magic FuckeryChapter 42 | Take This UpstairsChapter 43 | My First Time Was a Critical HitChapter 44 | Condoms Are for OverthinkersChapter 45 | We’re Going to Need a Bigger TowelChapter 46 | Post-Sex Negotiations Involve Korean TakeoutChapter 47 | My Superpower is Tonguing Down SuspicionsChapter 48 | My Brother’s Keeper Has QuestionsChapter 49 | The Terms and Conditions of My AffectionChapter 50 | Twenty Million Dollars is a Very Complicated Aphrodisiac