"How do you fit into all of that? Is he doing that because of what heâs become, or is it because heâs found his way to you?" Isabell asked, sighing in relief as she felt tension melting away from her body as Heila worked. The potion sheâd been given at the beginning might have blocked the pain, but that didnât mean that her body had healed. Now, however, bit by bit, she felt even aches and pains that had troubled her for several years starting to loosen and fade away.
"I love him," Heila said, without a moment of hesitation. "Not just because he fed on me either," she added quickly. "But he began to change long before I was even born. I just," Heila started to say before pausing again and wrestling with how forthcoming she should be.
Ashlynn had told her not to hold back secrets, but this wasnât just her secret to share. Still, she firmly believed that Isabell would find her way into the coven one day, and even if she didnât, she felt like Isabell could be trusted. After all, she was a woman who could stand up to a witchâs fury because she cared about Ashlynn, and that bought her more than a little bit of trust from all of the members of Ashlynnâs coven.
"A witchâs blood has power," Heila said after a brief hesitation. "Lady Nyrielle has been more, alive, I suppose, since she began to feed on Lady Ashlynn. Itâs the same with Ignatious, though not as much. Since he fed on me, weâve formed a sort of connection, and Iâve been able to help him heal the scars in his heart."
"Iâve seen what lies at the center of his heart, and heâs felt whatâs at the core of mine. I think it scares him a little bit, to feel so close to someone so quickly. I donât think heâs ready to call it love yet, but that doesnât matter to me," she said, pausing as her eyes were momentarily distant and her face heated yet again.
"Father insists that he court me properly for at least a year," Heila said with a light laugh. "Mother says she doesnât care how long the courtship lasts, as long as she gets an invitation to the wedding."
"That sounds... very normal," Isabell said in a surprised tone. If she set aside the matter of âfeedingâ on the person you loved and the power of a witchâs blood, it sounded like a very ordinary relationship. In fact, Isabell had been the one in her relationship who was slower to say she loved Casques, but heâd been patient with her, telling her that he would wait until she was ready to say the words. "Honestly, I didnât expect something so normal from a vampire and a witch."
"Lady Ashlynn and Lady Nyrielle arenât that different, you know," Heila said, meeting Isabellâs grey-eyed gaze for a moment and pausing her work. "Theyâre so very strong and they fight so hard. They carry so much weight on their shoulders. But at the end of the day, the things Lady Ashlynn talks about the most are the times sheâs gone dancing with Lady Nyrielle, or the dinners they share on her terrace. Even for people like us, with all of the power that we have, the things we desire the most are still very ordinary kinds of happiness."
"Is that your way of telling me that becoming a witch wouldnât change me?" Isabell said lightly. "That I could still go back to my Casques and continue life as though nothing had changed?"
"No," Heila said, gently helping Isabell to sit upright and helping her back into her tunic now that she was finished healing her injuries. "Becoming a witch would change you. Nothing would ever be the same. Ashlynn told me that I shouldnât hide anything from you and I wonât. Even if she hadnât asked, I wouldnât. But just because some things change, it doesnât mean that you canât still love who you love and do as you please."
"Itâs just that, if you become a witch, you become a part of something much, much greater than yourself," Heila said. "You become part of a family like no other, and you become a part of the world itself," she said before shaking her head and laughing lightly. "It sounds a little, um, pretentious I guess, when I say it that way. But you can feel all of the living and growing things around you, and you can feel yourself as part of the greater whole. You canât feel those things and not change a little."
"I think I understand," Isabell said, carefully getting to her feet and moving gently to feel her body now that Heila had finished healing her. Sheâd been injured before, sheâd been tended to by healers before, but never in her life had she felt better after the healers were done with her than she felt before they started. Until now, at least.
"The first time I gave birth, my world changed," Isabell said, smiling at the young witch. "There was a whole other person who had come from me, who needed me to protect them and nurture them and guide them. I felt closer to my mother at that moment than I ever had before, and all the family before me. Maybe itâs not the same, but I can understand, at least a little bit, what it might feel like to be connected to something greater than yourself."
"Then, in that case, just... just think on it," Heila said awkwardly. She really should have waited until Ashlynn brought things up, she thought. She could hear the distance in Isabellâs voice, as if the older woman wanted to understand in order to understand someone else instead of wanting to understand something that might matter to her own future.
There was still time, however. Once Ashlynn had a chance to process the news of Jocelynnâs betrayal, she would return to other matters, including inviting Isabell to join them. For now, all Heila needed to do was to help the other woman keep an open mind.
"I donât know if there will still be a dinner tonight," Heila said as she led Isabell down from the room atop the tower. "Ashlynn wanted to introduce you to Lady Nyrielle tonight, but with everything thatâs happened, things may have changed. I promise, Iâll come check on you in an hour or so, but you should take some time to rest after healing. Even if youâre not feeling it now and the wounds have all been treated, your body still went through a lot today."
"Can we, can we check on Lady Ashlynn before I return to my chambers?" Isabell asked hesitantly as they reached the floor where the shattered door leading to Ashlynnâs room was still visible, hanging by one hinge and swaying slightly in the breeze from an open window.
"Let me go see if she needs anything," Heila agreed as she stepped into Ashlynnâs room, moving more quietly over the carpets and stone floor than Isabell would have thought possible when looking at Heilaâs cloven hooves.
A few moments later, however, Heila emerged from Ashlynnâs bed chamber looking as pale as a freshly washed sheet.
"Sheâs gone," Heila said, staring at Isabell with eyes that were open wide and looked a little bit lost. "Sheâs not there, and neither is her armor."